Caring for someone with breast cancer
Women with breast cancer are in some ways like Amazons. For starters, there is a belief that Amazons cut out their right breasts (ostensibly to achieve better bow control), and there were no weighted leisure forms back then. But most of all, Amazons were brave fighters, courageous warriors, in one word, bad***. As fierce as they were, though, they still needed men – or at least that was the moral of Hercules and the Amazon Women. Similarly, women who have breast cancer also need to rely on someone special called a caregiver. Not that the caregiver must be of the male gender – that would be like saying that only females develop breast cancer. The point is that, as Bono said, you don’t have to go it alone. For the sake of argument, let’s say the patient is a woman and the caregiver is a man. Kind of like Love Story. You know, Love Story? ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry’? Well, moving on.
When a man cares for a woman with breast cancer:
- He supports her.
- He listens to her.
- He is patient.
- He encourages her to seek help.
- He accompanies her to medical appointments.
- He becomes her secretary and takes notes at those appointments.
- He becomes her advocate.
- He does research on breast cancer.
- He encourages her to join a support group.
- He is discreet.
- He cheers her up.
- He leaves her roses by the stairs (surprises let her know you care).
- He does household chores, mows the lawn, goes grocery shopping, pays the bills, etc.
- He showers her with attention.
- He does not tell her how to feel.
- He sticks around for the long haul.
- He is a shoulder to cry on.
- He dries her tears.
- He reads to her.
- Like a bridge over troubled water he will lay himself down.
- He just calls to say ‘I love you.’
- He’ll shelter and keep her warm.
- He’ll never let her walk alone.
- He would walk 500 miles (and he would walk 500 more) just to be the man who walks a 1,000 miles to fall down at her door.
- He gives her wings when she wants to fly.
- He tells her that she’s really wanted.
- He holds her hand.
- He catches her when she falls.
- He tells her that she is beautiful.
- He is there.
In summary, he is the heroic knight in shiny white armor, Ivanhoe come to fight the Judgment of God against the Templar Brian de Bois-Guilbert. Of course, happy endings are not guaranteed, but it’s the journey that counts, not the destination. Unfortunately, cancer is like Stephen King’s Langoliers. If it were a sentient being and it could see how beautiful she really is, it would be as remorseful as Achilles was when he removed Penthesilea’s helmet after slaying her in the Trojan battlefields.