12 things a caregiver should never be told, or should they?

According to the US News & World Report there are 4 things you should never say to a caregiver. And according to the Huffington Post, there are a further 8 things that you should never say to a caregiver. But as a caregiver, would you really not want to hear at least a few of these things? Are they all worthy of Jeff Foxworthy’s “Here’s your sign”? Let’s analyze these things here at Discount Medical Supplies.

12 things you’re not supposed to hear as a caregiver

1.“Let me know if you need anything.”

The rationale here is that “a caregiver will never let you know.” Well, isn’t that all the more reason to say it? Plus, that’s a bad move on the caregiver. You should ask for help and not just wait to be offered it.

2.“Let me help.”

This one should only be uttered when the person really means it. Which is why the caregiver should accept the offer as soon as it is made to separate the wheat from the chaff.

3.“Have you thought about placing your loved one?”

If by that they mean placing him/her in an institution (long-term care facility, nursing home), then that depends on the care receiver’s health status.

4.“Why do you do that when you can do this?”

On this one the “contributor” went off on a tangent, speaking about DVDs and on-demand video, making wonder whether she might need a caregiver herself.

5.“You’re a saint.”

This apparently puts pressure on the caregiver, but it really the religious aspect that bothers one, as we’ll see below.

6.“God only gives you what He knows you can handle.”

Which sadly leaves out the agnostic or atheist caregiver. This one and the above I agree are very insensitive things to say to anyone.

7.“I don’t know how you do it.”

“Neither does the caregiver.” Agreed, but shouldn’t you at least try to get an idea how? That is, make a point of identifying what works and what doesn’t to keep or stop doing it, as may be the case.

8.“I’m glad you are able to get him the best care possible.”

Apparently, both of these are said by people who are not familiar with the healthcare industry, directly or indirectly. But who is it, really?

9.“He’s in good hands.”

10.“Do you have a minute for a fast call?”

It seems the answer to this is “you can follow along when I post the highlights oncaringbridge.com or Facebook.” So you do have the time. And isn’t a phone call more personal, though?

11.“My uncle had that.”

“Not all cancers, not all heart attacks, and not all kidney failures are the same.” So just because of that you shouldn’t allow others share their experiences with you. You’d be denying yourself a chance to learn.

12.“I know my problems seem small compared to yours.”

“Honestly, I’d love to hear someone else’s problems for a change.” Which is what they were trying to do in the previous thing you said you shouldn’t say to a caregiver, so which is it?


Related: Which are the many roles of a cancer family caregiver?