Are you tired of neargasms? Try the Adam & Eve Clit sensitizer

neargasms

“The clit is real,” says Will Ferrel in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. “It’s the female orgasm that's the myth.” But with the Adam & Eve Clit Sensitizer you can turn female orgasms into an everyday reality. Thanks to this product, there is no need to wait until the year 2173 for the Orgasmatron to be invented. Moreover, this cream is safer than Dr. Durand-Durand’s Excessive Machine. This item hyper-stimulates the clitoris and enables the woman – or women – in the relationship to reach a happy ending every single time, whether manually, orally, or phallically.

Features

  • Increases the sensitivity of nerves in the clitoris.
  • Makes even slight touching feel incredibly erotic and sensual.
  • Hyper-stimulating the clitoris makes it easier to have an orgasm.
  • Rub a small dab around your clitoris approximately 10-15 minutes before sexual relations.
  • Comes in a 0.5 oz jar with screw (no pun intended) top.
  • Contains enough cream for dozens of applications and many orgasms.
  • Results may vary depending on a number of factors.

  Pros

To once again paraphrase the aforementioned Kevin Smith movie, with the Adam & Eve Clit Sensitizer you can be the master of the Clit. You’ll make it work. It will do whatever you tell it to. No one will rule the Clit like you. You are the Clit Commander. Remember that, commander of all Clits. When it comes to this business,  that is what you do.  

Cons

This product may compel some people to, in the words of John Cleese in The Meaning of Life, “go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate.” But “why not start her off with a nice kiss?” Other foreplay options include sucking the nipple, stroking the thighs, biting the neck, nibbling the earlobe, kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So once again, “we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris.”

Recommendations

We recommend this product to all heterosexual men who have trouble pleasing their significant other, as well as lesbian couples who may be experiencing lesbian bed death. Just apply a small dab to the clitoris and allow 10 to 15 minutes before engaging in sexual congress. They say bad sex is better than a good day at the office, but with this product sex will always be good, if not great.